Wrestling with God...

Wrestling with God…

There is so much in my life that seems like it is in fast forward spinning motion. It would be so easy just too finally get dizzy and throw up. There are days I want to lay down and sleep for a long while praying that when I did wake up that everything was RIGHT in my world. I know life doesn’t work that way. I sit and ask God why, just to say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME and I trust you with my life a few minutes later. I realize that I am wrestling with God as Steven Curtis Chapman so eloquently put it. I never gave it a second thought other than thinking that I was being double minded. I know that God gave us a whole range of emotions to use in life situations and shouldn’t feel bad when my weak human frailty fails to see the entirety of God holding the situation in his hand. I feel that even though I have a hard time not focusing on the brokenness in my life or knowing the depth of every wrong situation in my life, I do know the one true and right thing in my life and that is God and His Sovereignty. Even in my weak moments when I call out to God and ask WHY, I know in my heart that God is there. I will be carried through this wildness and despair and I will praise Him through this storm.

Pray for my family in these areas:

My teen daughter, my heart and my treasure has made some choices that have given her consequences in this life that she will forever live with. She got pregnant and had a miscarriage. She ended up marrying the young man whom we believed to be 19. He turned out to be 27. She is working, going to school and living as a married girl. It is so much for a young teen to handle. I am praying that God will prosper her and she will turn to Him with her whole heart and seek His guidance and direction for her life. We talk and are doing ok. I just pray that she continues to finish school, doesn’t get pregnant until she is done with school and that her life will be fantastic. The young man is a very nice person. I don’t know much about him at all other than He is saved. I do thank God for that. I am not sure however where all his morals stand. I know in human weakness we all do things.

My mom is doing ok. She is on a vitamin now called Phosphatidyl serine which doctors prescribe for patients with Alzheimer’s/Dementia. It is suppose to be very good. She has been on that for a week now. She has really good days and really BAD days. Please pray that God will restore her 100%.

My dad has been having a lot of pain in his stomach area. He also hurts in his legs and feet. He went to the VA for testing. He told us that he had a bad stomach ulcer and Gall Bladder stones. The Gall bladder may need to come out soon! My mom told me that my dad had told her that He had stomach cancer and that he was going to tell us kids it was an ulcer, which that is what he told us kids. Chad had an opportunity to golf with my dad and talk with him. It turns out as best as Chad could get out of him that it is an early stage of stomach cancer. He is taking meds to prevent it from turning into something worse. I am not sure what to think or believe as to the severity of the cancer. I pray for him to be straight forward with us. I don’t know if this is his way of not fully admitting to himself what is happening to his body.
Please pray for me also. I am struggling with some days of depression over it all. I just need God to restore me to a place to where I am not going to worry over what is and accept that God knows what is best and that I can and will come through this as it isn’t about ME but about the things going on and the people in and around my life. Pray I will shine as a witness and bring God glory through it all.