sorrow runs deep...

Today I spent the afternoon with my mom. We had a great time. We took in a movie and enjoyed one another's company. I noticed how much my mom has changed today. Her confidence is not where it use to be. She seems more hesitant and child like in things. I find myself longing for my old mom. She is more quiet and inward. She never use to be. She use to enjoy life and people. I enjoy my mom but I miss my mom the way she use to be. I grieve for the loss of my "old" mom, the way she use to be. I have deep sorrow at the way things are moving towards a future for her life and selfishly mine too. Night time is so hard for me lately. I think often of everything. Things that happened over the last year and my heart weeps within me. I try hard not to sound depressing and I do try to trust God. I really try to trust God. Sometimes I am strong and other times I feel like I will fall apart. Some nights the sorrow runs deep.