OH MY SHE IS 17!

My heart can't believe it! My baby girl is 17! It seems like time has snuck up on me. I sit here and remember from her birth to now. I remember going to the hospital. I wasn't sure that I was in labor or not. The night before, I felt this light pressure of my belly pushing out. Everytime it happened, I timed it. It would last for 30 seconds to a minute, 12 minutes apart. I was with my mom at her job. She took care of an elderly woman and it was her turn for night shift. I spent the night with her in the living room. I was so surprised when the contractions started but didn't say a word to my mom for fear of her worrying. I was worried myself. I had no pain. I decided that I would wait until morning to say anything. If I started to have pain in the night, I figured I would just wake her and then tell her. The night passed without a hitch. I was still having the contractions in the morning but there was no pain. We left when the second lady came in to take over. I remember going to Taco Cabana and picking up bacon so that we could go home and cook for my dad. It was Saturday! I told my mom about the contractions at the drive through window of Taco Cabana. She was anxious to go to the hospital. I told her that I wasn't sure it was even labor since there was no pain what so ever. I told her that I had heard that if it were real labor, walking would intensify the contractions. That was all she needed. My parents took me to the flea market after breakfast and made me walk and walk and walk. We then drove over to Clifton to drop off some tax papers to a guy that was doing my dad's taxes. We came back through McGregor and stopped for a snack. I had a cup of peach cobler. We drove back towards home and stopped at the Bellmead Sonic to get supper. It was about 5:30 that afternoon. I still had contractions about 5 to 3 minutes apart...again...no pain. After supper, my mom begged me to let her take me to the hospital. I finally gave in. We got to Hillcrest Hospital about 6:30. I walked up to the desk and said "I think I am in labor, but I am not sure". They had me change and hooked me up to a monitor. It seemed like ALL THE CONTRACTIONS just stopped! She said, let me know if you feel anything! The slightest pressure occurred and I said, "umm, I think I am having a contraction." SURE ENOUGH! We were settled in about 7:oo. I was dilated to a 3. Still no pain. The doctor came in an hour later and checked me. This time, I was at a 4. He decided we need to speed things up. He broke my water. Since I had no pain, I opted to do this without meds or epidural. Once my water was broken, no more than 10 minutes later, I was crying for the epidural. The nurse came in and put an IV bag of fluids in my arm. She said I had to run through this bag before an epidural could be administered. I was beside myself. I kept telling the nurse, I am going to be sick. She said, Your ok! I said...NO I AM SICK...I proceeded to throw up!(NEVER EAT A HAMBURGER IF YOU THINK YOU ARE IN LABOR. IT IS NEVER A PRETTY SIGHT NOR DO YOU FEEL VERY DIGNIFIED ONCE YOU HAVE SPEWED!). The nurse rushed over and apologized for not listening. After we changed my sheets, my gown and pulled my hair back, I was finally settled again. I was still begging for an Epidural. My dad was trying his best to take my mind off of the pain. He started telling jokes?! I told my mom to make him sit in the waiting room. Finally, the fluid bag was empty and they replaced it with a new one. About 15 minutes later I got my epidural, 5 minutes later, I was watching tv and talking on the phone. I even let my dad come back in for a while! At the time, I started running a high temp but was not aware of it. The nurse gave me my first clue when she constantly kept taking my temp and proceeded to shake her head. I was alarmed. I didn't know what was wrong. I finally dilated to a 10. It was about 1 am in the morning. The doctors said that I could start pushing. I pushed. I pushed and I pushed. 2 hours later, I was exhausted, Sick, and extremely panicked. The nurses however would not let me quit! I kept pushing! At 3:30am with and episiotomy, Ashley entered into this world. She got her first spanking by the doctor and wailed! I remember not being able to see her the next day at all. I was still very sick. I didn't know what was wrong and no one told me. fianlly about midnight the next night, a nurse brought Ashley to me to breast feed. That was our first encounter together. Now, I look at her and she is grown! She is beautiful. She is wonderful and precious. She is my sunshine! I see all the ups and downs, the good and bad times we've been through and I wouldn't trade it. I could not see my life as to ever have been without my sweet girl. Now, I have to start slowly preparing my heart to let her go. She will someday leave home and have a family of her own. My joy and confidence that I can trust and carry is that she is in the safety and the arms of the Lord. From the time she was in my womb, I prayed for her. I prayed for her through all her growing up years. I will continue to pray for her for the rest of my life. As she continues to get older, I will continue to love her and accept her for her. I will be here when she wants me and I will do my best to back off when she wants to try it herself. She is 17 and I see her maturing and growing in better choices and decisions. I see her wanting more for herself. There has been some downfalls that has made her life not so easy in her teen years. She has fallen off the merrigoround but has gotten back up, dusted off and climbed back on. She is an overcomer. What a privilege it is to have raised her, continue to raise her and watch the Lord move in her life. He has brought joy, healing and victory. She is 17!