Rough overview
Genesis 16 – Sermon by Alistair Begg
AMAZING and ENLIGHTENING
Expediency-Not asking the question what is right but settling for what will work,
Basically Self Effort taking the place of FAITH
The Bible is clear, The end never justifies the means
Abram and Sarai – Promise of a baby from God.
Sarai- expediency -Doubted God, reasoned that God had made her unable to have children, Told Abram to go unto Hagar and gave her handmaiden to Abram tried to make God’s promise come into being from self effort.
Abram – expediency- sinned, listened to Sarai, voice of reason, and came unto Hagar.
Hagar – conceived Ishmael, and conceived false pride by despising Sarai,
Sarai - conceived false accusation towards Abram.
Abram - false responsibility, told Sarah to treat Hagar as she pleased as it was her maid servant.
Hagar – Flees, God tells her to return to Sarai and submit to her authority that she will give birth to a son, name him Ishmael. Descendants would be numerous.
Ishmael – donkey of a man, will be hostile to everyone and everyone will be hostile to him.
Repercussions : chaos, confusion, brokenness, and future repercussions of Islamic religion being born and the war that continues between Ishmael and Isaac today.
What degree of faith we are today determines our outcome of our future tomorrow.
God’s Will Must be done God’s way out of Faith and not self effort. We should not act out of expediency. We should act in faith and learn to wait as waiting and faith are hand in hand. Help us not to grab things with our own hands Lord but to wait on you.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Garage Sale Temptation
Garage Sale Temptation
On my way to work this morning I saw numerous signs for garage sales, yard sales, and moving sales. I didn’t see one for estate sale but I am sure there must be one out there. I was so tempted to call in to work today for a day off! However; conscience would not let me. I always have Saturday.
Saturday garage sales start off about 7:00 am. We buy a paper, mark where we want to go and if we don’t know where it is, we use the GPS! (I love my honey and thank him for the GPS!) Most of the times, I find a little bit of things. Other times, I find a whole lot of things! About 10:00 am, it starts getting very hot and we call it quits. We head over to Janette and Adrianna’s for breakfast. It isn’t a big ordeal but it does get you out of the house and moving! It is a nice break from work. OH HOW I WISHED I HAD TAKEN OFF TODAY!
On my way to work this morning I saw numerous signs for garage sales, yard sales, and moving sales. I didn’t see one for estate sale but I am sure there must be one out there. I was so tempted to call in to work today for a day off! However; conscience would not let me. I always have Saturday.
Saturday garage sales start off about 7:00 am. We buy a paper, mark where we want to go and if we don’t know where it is, we use the GPS! (I love my honey and thank him for the GPS!) Most of the times, I find a little bit of things. Other times, I find a whole lot of things! About 10:00 am, it starts getting very hot and we call it quits. We head over to Janette and Adrianna’s for breakfast. It isn’t a big ordeal but it does get you out of the house and moving! It is a nice break from work. OH HOW I WISHED I HAD TAKEN OFF TODAY!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Just standing...
I know that thousands of people deal with this every day and yet I feel alone and isolated. The diagnosis for my mom is early stages of Alzheimer’s and mild to moderate dementia. I have read some disturbing facts online and I guess I really didn’t want to know the facts. I feel stricken with grief and sadness. I feel a weakness in my body that leaves me nauseous. I feel loss in my life already.
The fact sheet:
1. 5.3 million People in the US are living with Alzheimer’s.
2. 3x Alzheimer’s and dementia triple healthcare costs for Americans 65+ (my mom isn’t even 59 yet).
3. Every 70 seconds, someone develops Alzheimer’s
4. Alzheimer’s costs more than $148 billion each year to Medicare, Medicaid and businesses.
5. Alzheimer’s disease is 100% always fatal.
Courtesy of Facts & Figures – Action Alz
I feel so sick inside, lost. There is so much emotion and anxiety that I am feeling. There is an inside imploding taking place and I feel it is just going to burst through to an outside appearance any time now. At this point, I can’t imagine life without my mom. Yes, I know it could be years but it could also be months. I pray for years. I honestly pray for healing instead.
I know I will have to deal with this head on. As of right now, I haven’t told my mom the results of the Doctor’s diagnosis. I don’t know if I will ever tell her. My dad knows and he hasn’t told her either. I have to make an appointment with the doctor to see what we need to do next. Since there is no insurance, it is so expensive. I am trying to see if my mom will qualify for Medicare before we do anything else. I am waiting for an insurance application by mail that hasn’t come yet. I may have to just go down to SS office and see if I can get one physically.
I pray that my heart can keep it together with wise decisions and choices. It seems that unless I do anything, no one else will move. My dad seems to make no effort in getting my mom help. He says he is so concerned, more so than us kids but I am having a hard time believing him. I think that he thinks, if he ignores it, the problem doesn’t exist. My brothers don’t know what to do either. They are looking for answers and I don’t have any myself. I feel a big strain even in home life. So many of the plans we have made or planned have now changed. I just want to survive the storm with my family intact. I don’t want to argue or split apart. I want to wish everything alright. I know I have to trust God and truly lean on Him. So why do I feel so human in my emotions? It is like an untamed ocean raging. Sometimes, I feel like I have to keep what I feel inside for the fear of annoying those around me. All I want to do is just stand. All I am going to do is stand.
The fact sheet:
1. 5.3 million People in the US are living with Alzheimer’s.
2. 3x Alzheimer’s and dementia triple healthcare costs for Americans 65+ (my mom isn’t even 59 yet).
3. Every 70 seconds, someone develops Alzheimer’s
4. Alzheimer’s costs more than $148 billion each year to Medicare, Medicaid and businesses.
5. Alzheimer’s disease is 100% always fatal.
Courtesy of Facts & Figures – Action Alz
I feel so sick inside, lost. There is so much emotion and anxiety that I am feeling. There is an inside imploding taking place and I feel it is just going to burst through to an outside appearance any time now. At this point, I can’t imagine life without my mom. Yes, I know it could be years but it could also be months. I pray for years. I honestly pray for healing instead.
I know I will have to deal with this head on. As of right now, I haven’t told my mom the results of the Doctor’s diagnosis. I don’t know if I will ever tell her. My dad knows and he hasn’t told her either. I have to make an appointment with the doctor to see what we need to do next. Since there is no insurance, it is so expensive. I am trying to see if my mom will qualify for Medicare before we do anything else. I am waiting for an insurance application by mail that hasn’t come yet. I may have to just go down to SS office and see if I can get one physically.
I pray that my heart can keep it together with wise decisions and choices. It seems that unless I do anything, no one else will move. My dad seems to make no effort in getting my mom help. He says he is so concerned, more so than us kids but I am having a hard time believing him. I think that he thinks, if he ignores it, the problem doesn’t exist. My brothers don’t know what to do either. They are looking for answers and I don’t have any myself. I feel a big strain even in home life. So many of the plans we have made or planned have now changed. I just want to survive the storm with my family intact. I don’t want to argue or split apart. I want to wish everything alright. I know I have to trust God and truly lean on Him. So why do I feel so human in my emotions? It is like an untamed ocean raging. Sometimes, I feel like I have to keep what I feel inside for the fear of annoying those around me. All I want to do is just stand. All I am going to do is stand.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Water Park Adventures
Today we took Chase to the water park for the very first time. He absolutely loves the water!! I believe he would love to be in the water all day if we let him! He is such a brave little guy. He fell face under about 3 times and never did get frightened. He loved it. Chad and I sure enjoyed spending the time with him.
My most precious friend! My mom.
My mom is my most precious friend on this earth next to my husband. She has been a very big support in my life. I can call her when I am sad or when I am happy. I share so much with her. She gives me comfort in sad times and laughter in fun times. We do so much together and enjoy each other's company. She is so fun and easy to talk with. She is my best friend.
It seems over the past year I have noticed changes in my mom. I notice that she misplaces things and can't find them again. I notice that she repeats herself or tells me the same thing maybe 3 or 4 times in the same hour. I notice that last year, she remembered me for my birthday but can not remember what day or month I was born today. I see the person that she was fading from me and my heart is broken. I decided to take my mom to the doctor. He did some blood work and a mind test with simple questions. My heart sank when the doctor asked her what the current year was and she replied "1990 something". He asked her what floor she was on and she said "I think we are on a second floor". The clinic is a one floor facility! He gave her 3 words to remember and to repeat back to him within a few minutes. When it came time, she couldn't do it. He gave her a hint and she was able to give him 1 of the words back. She was surprised to find out there were 2 more words. He graded her on a scale of 1-30. 1-15 being severe, 16-20 being moderate and 21 - 30 being mild. She rated at 21 on the border of mild to moderate for memory. I haven't received the results of the bloodwork yet. This is to rule out diabetes, b12 deficiency, anemia, and a few other things. If the bloodwork comes out to have an issue, the doctor says it may reverse some of the memory issues with treatment. If all is ok with the bloodwork, we will need to do a cat scan to see if maybe a mini stroke or series of ministrokes have occured without notice. He said that further testing can be very costly easily reaching near $10,000. I don't know how to manage. I have to take her for a followup for results and figure out a plan if further testing is needed. I am not sure how much it will cost. My parents do not have insurance and this last visit was quite expensive. I have to call to see what the follow up will cost. One step at a time!!! My mom takes care of Chase now and I have seen some improvement with her alertness. Her common sense and responsibility skills are in tact it is just the memory of things past or misplacing things are affected. I find that I cry more easily and constantly worry about her. I continue to pray for her and place her in God's hands. She is so dear to me and I am not ready to lose her mentally if it can be prevented. I LOVE YOU MOM!
It seems over the past year I have noticed changes in my mom. I notice that she misplaces things and can't find them again. I notice that she repeats herself or tells me the same thing maybe 3 or 4 times in the same hour. I notice that last year, she remembered me for my birthday but can not remember what day or month I was born today. I see the person that she was fading from me and my heart is broken. I decided to take my mom to the doctor. He did some blood work and a mind test with simple questions. My heart sank when the doctor asked her what the current year was and she replied "1990 something". He asked her what floor she was on and she said "I think we are on a second floor". The clinic is a one floor facility! He gave her 3 words to remember and to repeat back to him within a few minutes. When it came time, she couldn't do it. He gave her a hint and she was able to give him 1 of the words back. She was surprised to find out there were 2 more words. He graded her on a scale of 1-30. 1-15 being severe, 16-20 being moderate and 21 - 30 being mild. She rated at 21 on the border of mild to moderate for memory. I haven't received the results of the bloodwork yet. This is to rule out diabetes, b12 deficiency, anemia, and a few other things. If the bloodwork comes out to have an issue, the doctor says it may reverse some of the memory issues with treatment. If all is ok with the bloodwork, we will need to do a cat scan to see if maybe a mini stroke or series of ministrokes have occured without notice. He said that further testing can be very costly easily reaching near $10,000. I don't know how to manage. I have to take her for a followup for results and figure out a plan if further testing is needed. I am not sure how much it will cost. My parents do not have insurance and this last visit was quite expensive. I have to call to see what the follow up will cost. One step at a time!!! My mom takes care of Chase now and I have seen some improvement with her alertness. Her common sense and responsibility skills are in tact it is just the memory of things past or misplacing things are affected. I find that I cry more easily and constantly worry about her. I continue to pray for her and place her in God's hands. She is so dear to me and I am not ready to lose her mentally if it can be prevented. I LOVE YOU MOM!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
But by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of GOD
Mathew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
Luke 4:4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.
One morning I was reading my Bible and began reading where Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. This one scripture jumped out at me like a ton of bricks. IT IS WRITTEN! Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Jesus himself said it. This is the word of the Lord. IT IS WRITTEN...This is the word of GOD himself. After all didn't God SPEAK things into being? Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. 2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 3 ¶ And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. We go on to read in Genesis everything God said to exist and it did! God's word is so powerful and gives life. Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. You see, God knew that man would have great need. We need food, shelter, water and clothing, basic needs of life for physical exixtance but he said this was not all man needed. We shouldn't just live with the basics of life but we should live by every word that proceeds out of HIS MOUTH. To each of us God has given us a gift to share for bringing others to know Christ to have relationship with God the Father, to exhort the body of Christ, to teach others how to live as Christ would have us to. Romans 12:3-6 3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: 5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; I believe that God equips us for LIVING, not just for the physical but also for the spiritual. Our lives are not our own. When we try to live to exist on physical basic needs we are missing the Word of the Lord for our lives. The word that proceeds out of the very mouth of God to LIVE. You see, My family has come through a great and terrible battle. By no strength of our own did we survive. God has a purpose and plan for each of our lives and when we step out of that purpose and plan and try to do our own we are grasping for the FLESH needs and failing miserably. If we are living by GOD's WORD then we are being prepared to fight off the wards of Satan. Isn't it much better to live as God purposes us? If God could speak the world and everything into existance, then why do we have trouble believing that he has spoken a purpose and a plan for each of us? I am asking for myself. Our eyes and body are of the flesh and we see more fleshy wants and needs in this life that it is so easy to lose sight of God's purpose and plan. We get caught up in our troubles and forget where our strength and source is. I want to live the word that proceeds out of God's mouth for my life. I believe with all of my heart that because we trusted God during the biggest hurricane of our life through prayer, claiming God's word and just standing when we could do nothing else (because that is God's word to do these things!!!) that God in His mercy brought us through!. I am beginning to see such a huge turnaround. I want to continue in this. That means I have to set aside my human reasoning, understanding and not stand in the puny strength of my own hands. My life was not meant to be lived for existing. It was meant to be lived to accomplish God's will and purpose to bring glory unto him. This can only happen if I live my life by the Word which has proceedeth out of the mouth of God...Have you read your Bible today???
Luke 4:4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.
One morning I was reading my Bible and began reading where Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. This one scripture jumped out at me like a ton of bricks. IT IS WRITTEN! Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Jesus himself said it. This is the word of the Lord. IT IS WRITTEN...This is the word of GOD himself. After all didn't God SPEAK things into being? Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. 2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 3 ¶ And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. We go on to read in Genesis everything God said to exist and it did! God's word is so powerful and gives life. Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. You see, God knew that man would have great need. We need food, shelter, water and clothing, basic needs of life for physical exixtance but he said this was not all man needed. We shouldn't just live with the basics of life but we should live by every word that proceeds out of HIS MOUTH. To each of us God has given us a gift to share for bringing others to know Christ to have relationship with God the Father, to exhort the body of Christ, to teach others how to live as Christ would have us to. Romans 12:3-6 3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: 5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; I believe that God equips us for LIVING, not just for the physical but also for the spiritual. Our lives are not our own. When we try to live to exist on physical basic needs we are missing the Word of the Lord for our lives. The word that proceeds out of the very mouth of God to LIVE. You see, My family has come through a great and terrible battle. By no strength of our own did we survive. God has a purpose and plan for each of our lives and when we step out of that purpose and plan and try to do our own we are grasping for the FLESH needs and failing miserably. If we are living by GOD's WORD then we are being prepared to fight off the wards of Satan. Isn't it much better to live as God purposes us? If God could speak the world and everything into existance, then why do we have trouble believing that he has spoken a purpose and a plan for each of us? I am asking for myself. Our eyes and body are of the flesh and we see more fleshy wants and needs in this life that it is so easy to lose sight of God's purpose and plan. We get caught up in our troubles and forget where our strength and source is. I want to live the word that proceeds out of God's mouth for my life. I believe with all of my heart that because we trusted God during the biggest hurricane of our life through prayer, claiming God's word and just standing when we could do nothing else (because that is God's word to do these things!!!) that God in His mercy brought us through!. I am beginning to see such a huge turnaround. I want to continue in this. That means I have to set aside my human reasoning, understanding and not stand in the puny strength of my own hands. My life was not meant to be lived for existing. It was meant to be lived to accomplish God's will and purpose to bring glory unto him. This can only happen if I live my life by the Word which has proceedeth out of the mouth of God...Have you read your Bible today???
Sunday, April 12, 2009
OH MY SHE IS 17!
My heart can't believe it! My baby girl is 17! It seems like time has snuck up on me. I sit here and remember from her birth to now. I remember going to the hospital. I wasn't sure that I was in labor or not. The night before, I felt this light pressure of my belly pushing out. Everytime it happened, I timed it. It would last for 30 seconds to a minute, 12 minutes apart. I was with my mom at her job. She took care of an elderly woman and it was her turn for night shift. I spent the night with her in the living room. I was so surprised when the contractions started but didn't say a word to my mom for fear of her worrying. I was worried myself. I had no pain. I decided that I would wait until morning to say anything. If I started to have pain in the night, I figured I would just wake her and then tell her. The night passed without a hitch. I was still having the contractions in the morning but there was no pain. We left when the second lady came in to take over. I remember going to Taco Cabana and picking up bacon so that we could go home and cook for my dad. It was Saturday! I told my mom about the contractions at the drive through window of Taco Cabana. She was anxious to go to the hospital. I told her that I wasn't sure it was even labor since there was no pain what so ever. I told her that I had heard that if it were real labor, walking would intensify the contractions. That was all she needed. My parents took me to the flea market after breakfast and made me walk and walk and walk. We then drove over to Clifton to drop off some tax papers to a guy that was doing my dad's taxes. We came back through McGregor and stopped for a snack. I had a cup of peach cobler. We drove back towards home and stopped at the Bellmead Sonic to get supper. It was about 5:30 that afternoon. I still had contractions about 5 to 3 minutes apart...again...no pain. After supper, my mom begged me to let her take me to the hospital. I finally gave in. We got to Hillcrest Hospital about 6:30. I walked up to the desk and said "I think I am in labor, but I am not sure". They had me change and hooked me up to a monitor. It seemed like ALL THE CONTRACTIONS just stopped! She said, let me know if you feel anything! The slightest pressure occurred and I said, "umm, I think I am having a contraction." SURE ENOUGH! We were settled in about 7:oo. I was dilated to a 3. Still no pain. The doctor came in an hour later and checked me. This time, I was at a 4. He decided we need to speed things up. He broke my water. Since I had no pain, I opted to do this without meds or epidural. Once my water was broken, no more than 10 minutes later, I was crying for the epidural. The nurse came in and put an IV bag of fluids in my arm. She said I had to run through this bag before an epidural could be administered. I was beside myself. I kept telling the nurse, I am going to be sick. She said, Your ok! I said...NO I AM SICK...I proceeded to throw up!(NEVER EAT A HAMBURGER IF YOU THINK YOU ARE IN LABOR. IT IS NEVER A PRETTY SIGHT NOR DO YOU FEEL VERY DIGNIFIED ONCE YOU HAVE SPEWED!). The nurse rushed over and apologized for not listening. After we changed my sheets, my gown and pulled my hair back, I was finally settled again. I was still begging for an Epidural. My dad was trying his best to take my mind off of the pain. He started telling jokes?! I told my mom to make him sit in the waiting room. Finally, the fluid bag was empty and they replaced it with a new one. About 15 minutes later I got my epidural, 5 minutes later, I was watching tv and talking on the phone. I even let my dad come back in for a while! At the time, I started running a high temp but was not aware of it. The nurse gave me my first clue when she constantly kept taking my temp and proceeded to shake her head. I was alarmed. I didn't know what was wrong. I finally dilated to a 10. It was about 1 am in the morning. The doctors said that I could start pushing. I pushed. I pushed and I pushed. 2 hours later, I was exhausted, Sick, and extremely panicked. The nurses however would not let me quit! I kept pushing! At 3:30am with and episiotomy, Ashley entered into this world. She got her first spanking by the doctor and wailed! I remember not being able to see her the next day at all. I was still very sick. I didn't know what was wrong and no one told me. fianlly about midnight the next night, a nurse brought Ashley to me to breast feed. That was our first encounter together. Now, I look at her and she is grown! She is beautiful. She is wonderful and precious. She is my sunshine! I see all the ups and downs, the good and bad times we've been through and I wouldn't trade it. I could not see my life as to ever have been without my sweet girl. Now, I have to start slowly preparing my heart to let her go. She will someday leave home and have a family of her own. My joy and confidence that I can trust and carry is that she is in the safety and the arms of the Lord. From the time she was in my womb, I prayed for her. I prayed for her through all her growing up years. I will continue to pray for her for the rest of my life. As she continues to get older, I will continue to love her and accept her for her. I will be here when she wants me and I will do my best to back off when she wants to try it herself. She is 17 and I see her maturing and growing in better choices and decisions. I see her wanting more for herself. There has been some downfalls that has made her life not so easy in her teen years. She has fallen off the merrigoround but has gotten back up, dusted off and climbed back on. She is an overcomer. What a privilege it is to have raised her, continue to raise her and watch the Lord move in her life. He has brought joy, healing and victory. She is 17!
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